Of all the places to lose a contact lens . . .

Of all the places to lose a contact lens . . .
But I tell you officer, I have been framed.
When I catch him sneaking up on me, he says, “What, you got eyes in the back of your head?” I just say with this neck, I don’t need them.
For the tenth time, it’s Ruddy Turnstone, not bloody turncoat. Sheesh!!
What was I thinking, asking a New York City cab driver for the shortest route to the shore?